Overheard at Big Lots

This one is courtesy of my child. I hope no one else overheard.

The Girl, looking at a box of 48 Pop Tarts for $6.50.
Me: "would you eat that flavor?"
Girl: "No. I don't want them. I'm just laminating on them."
Me: staring at her in confusion
Girl: "That's the word, right? Laminating?"
Me: "I think you mean RUMINATING!""
Girl: "Yeah. That."

Overheard at Chez Ann Salon

Two sisters, about 10/11.
Sister one: Do you like your hair?
Sister two: Yeah. But I don't like yours.
Sister one: Your face looks pathetic

Overheard in Target

In the changing room:

Little boy (about 3) to his mom: "Oh dear! Where's your penis?"

Overheard at Tim Horton's

Three men - the ages of approximately 45, 48 & 55 discussing Hollywood gossip. (by the way, my gaydar was not going off)
"Jenny McCarthy has her own show now."
"Really? It's about time!"
"I know! She got her start so long ago!" (he went in to incorrectly inform his straight cohorts how Jenny started out)
"Isn't she dating ..."
"No. Not anymore."
I wish they would have finished the conversation here, but they got up
& walked out.

Overheard in Olive Garden

This wasn't overheard by me. It was a conversation with Mom that plenty of others overheard though.

Me: Is Marilyn here?
Mom: No. She comes back 4 months every summer though.
Me: Oh? When will she be here?
Mom: Probably in January.
Me: Well, that's not summer. That's winter.
Mom: It's summer here though.
Me: No. It's not. It's winter here.
Mom: Yeah, I know.
Me: No you don't.

Overheard at Olive Garden

Mom's Thursday night supper club is always great for overhearing things.

Waitress: "Look out! Hot stuff!"
Celeste: "Who you callin hot stuff?"

Celeste is 90-something woman who is so spry & full of life! Everyone wants to adopt her as their grandmother!

Overheard at Olive Garden

Mom has a Thursday night supper club she goes to with other older people from her retirement community. I went with her one night when one of the neighbors asked another, "Did you pass that stone yet?"

Overheard at Tim Horton's

Rough-voiced woman working behind the counter: "I've been with the same man for two years and he's never heard me fart."
Co-workers (collectively, in a chorus): "Really? Nooooo..."
pause ... followed by same co-workers: "Ewwwwww....Kristin!"

Overheard in Pier One

Girl (about 10): "Who's in the hospital, Mom?"
Mom: "Mrs Barber. She just got out of the hospital."
Girl: "Then who is taking care of the kids?"
Mom: "Mr Barber."
Girl: "But men are supposed to work."

I got news for ya Girl, taking care of kids *is* work!"

Overheard in Target

3 Little Boys in cart at Target, fighting.

Boy 1: "Owwwww! Stop playing with my nipple!"
Boy 2: I'm NOT playing with your nipple.
Boy 1: louder, "Owwwwwwww!!!!"
Boy 2: "Now THAT'S playing with your nipple!"
Boy 3 laughs

Poor Mom.